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Post by macsporen on Oct 6, 2005 13:22:46 GMT
Edit by Chris:
This thread is back by popular demand! --------------------------------------------- Original Post: As the title surgests. So in the years to come, people will never get bored of the insanity So anyone comes up or hears something funny (basically mitch or myself saying something stupid) and you like it, post it here.
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Post by macsporen on Oct 6, 2005 13:27:22 GMT
How sads this, already thought of one.
what not to say to a large lady...
'so whens the baby due'
'last month!'
Quote of 'Loose women'
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Post by Mitch on Oct 6, 2005 23:15:42 GMT
<a piece of tumbleweed drifts across the discussion board>
;D ;D ;D
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Post by macsporen on Oct 6, 2005 23:17:48 GMT
git
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Post by hightower on Oct 11, 2005 14:57:21 GMT
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
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Post by Queeg on Oct 11, 2005 15:09:59 GMT
at least come up with something original:P not a single person in the club even comes close to insane (of the ones i have met), that quote REALLY annoys me. most people who refer to themselves as weird or insane are the most normal people there are. anyway one which always tickles me, There are 3 types of people, those who can count and those who cant
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Post by Jungle on Oct 11, 2005 15:26:23 GMT
I didn't know you had it in you.
That one definatly needs to go in the quote generator if Adam can work out how to do it.
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Post by hightower on Oct 11, 2005 16:03:44 GMT
ok, so it was an oldie, try this:
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Post by Queeg on Oct 11, 2005 16:38:27 GMT
preserve nature, pickle a squirrel save the trees, eat a beaver on the other hand, you have different fingers fight crime, shoot back i know hundreds, will post them every now and again if you want, when i think of them
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Post by Queeg on Oct 12, 2005 11:53:58 GMT
just think. if there was no electricity you would be reading this by candle light.
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Post by macsporen on Oct 13, 2005 22:53:19 GMT
How do you make a candle light?
light it, and watch the wax fall away
(dont ask me, i only work here)
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Post by Mitch on Oct 13, 2005 23:01:30 GMT
A grape gets run over by a truck. It didn't scream, it just gave out a little whine...
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Post by Queeg on Oct 14, 2005 11:25:26 GMT
..............@...................................... ..............................@...................... .............................................@.......
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Post by Adam on Oct 14, 2005 12:35:11 GMT
I've tried to update the quotes (all committee can actually in the Site Admin area) but we keep getting a Page Not Found error... Keep em coming tho, should be fixable somewhere lol.
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Post by Queeg on Oct 15, 2005 20:06:39 GMT
never, never, never, never, repeat
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Post by Queeg on Oct 15, 2005 20:07:14 GMT
never, never, never, never, repeat
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Post by Queeg on Oct 15, 2005 20:34:58 GMT
these ones are a little out of date but i still find them funny, i thought of them myself and the best jokes are always your own! back in the time of the spice girls... Girl power is the ability to bleed once a month for about 5 days. I find it incredibly difficult to get close to fat people. Clones - everybody has the same jeans. and a quote from "the day today" which i find amusing and will confuse the hell out of everyone else "Oxymacgee flew back a ninth, despite a creeping bid from Connected Breathdumps at four"
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Post by Chris on Oct 16, 2005 22:33:25 GMT
YOU SHALL NOT PASS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GANDALF, NO! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Adam on Oct 16, 2005 22:48:10 GMT
Must all your posts contain edits, Chris?
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Post by Chris on Oct 17, 2005 11:53:40 GMT
Must all your posts contain edits, Chris? No... EDIT: Yes
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Post by Chris on Oct 17, 2005 11:56:08 GMT
Top 15 Pirate Chat-Up Lines:
15. "I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest."
14. "You're just the tasty wench I've been keeping me eye out for!"
13. "Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?"
12. "Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber."
11. "See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby."
10. "WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!"
9. "Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight."
8. "Do ya mind if the parrot watches?"
7. "Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?"
6. "Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded."
5. "So you're the new cabin boy, eh?"
4. "Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation?" (software pirates only)
3. "Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?"
2. "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?"
and the Number 1 Pirate Pick-Up Line...
1. "Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!"
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Post by Queeg on Oct 17, 2005 16:20:49 GMT
I bet you have never had a gf.
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Post by Chris on Oct 17, 2005 17:23:49 GMT
I bet you have never had a gf. Very funny... And you have??
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Post by Queeg on Oct 17, 2005 17:28:58 GMT
no, im sad lonely and innocent:'(
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Post by Chris on Oct 18, 2005 22:09:10 GMT
exactly.......................
(Jaaaaaaaaaaaaa (German Pirate))
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Post by Mitch on Oct 19, 2005 14:57:35 GMT
To move away from personal remarks...
Found a notice on a cubical door in the toilet of the chemistry block:
This toilet is to be used only for its intended purpose. If you need to wash, there are more suitable facilities in James France
;D
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Post by Mitch on Oct 19, 2005 21:13:47 GMT
From the minutes of the LSAC committee, 30/5/02
"Start: 6.20
First point: We have a stuffed toy for a sort of mascot but not a mascot.
End: 7.00"
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Post by macsporen on Oct 20, 2005 14:05:27 GMT
It was the most interesting point of the bloody meeting Heres one i found at my house upstairs. "In the event of a fire 'DO NOT JUMP' Hang from the windowsill by outstretched arms, then drop down" the only problem to this was, you cant open the window to get out!
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Post by Chris on Oct 29, 2005 11:53:33 GMT
Ian told me this: Written on the wall of a toilet cubicle: Why are you looking up here? The jokes in your hand...
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Post by Gracie on Nov 2, 2005 9:35:56 GMT
Someone sent these to me by email. I think we already have some of them on the random quotes generator.
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. 9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 10. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 11. Remember half the people you know are below average. 12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? 13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool. 14. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. 15. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. 20. I intend to live forever-so far so good. 21. Borrow money from a pessimist-they don't expect it back. 22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 23. My mind is like a steel trap-rusty and illegal in 37 states. 24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. 25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. 26. Support bacteria-they're the only culture some people have. 27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. 28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. 32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of check. 33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. 34. No one is listening until you make a mistake. 35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view. 36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it. 37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. 38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. 39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. 41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. 42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 43. Two wrongs are only the beginning. 44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. 46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines. 48. Get a new car for your spouse-it'll be a great trade! 49. Plan to be spontaneous-tomorrow. 50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it! 51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand... 53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye opener. 54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
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