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Post by Birm on Feb 13, 2009 14:20:39 GMT
From a certain night's pub quiz:
Birm, standing up after 3 pints of Old Rosie: Who put the floor so far away?
Quiz Master: In what year was homosexuality legalised in the UK? Birm: ...Jungle?
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Post by Stubbs on Feb 14, 2009 1:22:55 GMT
ok, that's just funny, no ifs ands or buts about it.
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Post by igglybabe on Feb 25, 2009 15:37:49 GMT
from my lecture:
'Death is good...they can't lie about that' you want something to analyse, so death is good' 'is there a relationship beteen place of study ad fun...all roads lead to Lboro' 'There was a lot of drug taking going on, caus its a night club, thats what you do' 'Might find there is a strong connection between people who eat rice crispies and caster oil and death...but who gives a shit..."
my fav: 'suicide is an injury'
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Post by Stubbs on Mar 9, 2009 17:07:05 GMT
Bad pick up lines: Tell me, does this drink taste of rohypnol?
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Post by andrewcb on Mar 19, 2009 0:04:09 GMT
Jade: "This one comes with MP3 features"
This one cought my attention at BUCS, from a Brum archer: "Run jungle, run like the girl you are!"
With reference to the Linux penguin: "James is a little fat collapsed penguin"
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Post by igglybabe on Mar 20, 2009 21:13:07 GMT
disabled access is a Darlek conspiracy
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Post by Mitch on Mar 21, 2009 16:07:13 GMT
Stubbs would make a good hooker!!!
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Post by Stubbs on Mar 22, 2009 15:20:40 GMT
"Next Chapter: Kenshin sits down with Jineh over a nice cup of tea and some scones and politely explains why kidnapping young women in dark alleys is Not the Done Thing. On an entirely unrelated note, the next chapter or two will probably have a higher rating."
I laughed, but you might need to know 'Rurouni Kenshin' to get it.
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Post by igglybabe on Mar 28, 2009 0:57:54 GMT
Little blonde girls are angels, little brown girls are whores of bablylon
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Post by Stubbs on Mar 31, 2009 23:17:35 GMT
disabled access is a Darlek conspiracy only just saw the QI for this today. very funny "Never challenge a stranger to a drinking contest Alex" (especially when your already drunk)
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Post by Stubbs on Apr 1, 2009 0:14:10 GMT
It's the 1st of April, Happy Valentines day everyone!
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Post by andrewcb on Apr 7, 2009 14:22:39 GMT
The first of the IOM random quotes.
During Pub Archery, Alex: "You're all making me cold as you're riding my jumper at different times"
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Post by Birm on Apr 8, 2009 18:56:11 GMT
And another one:
Stubbs: "The Stubbs knows no sex!"
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Post by igglybabe on Apr 9, 2009 11:20:33 GMT
I did not steal these from the Brum quotes on facebook...Honest!!!
Steve - I thought I felt a massive pair of breasts on my back but it was actually Cowie's stomach.
Andy Iles - Alex is small and dumpy! (To which Alex Stuart responded at a later point - I'm large and friendly!)
Hannah - Was anyone there for the chicken nugget and anal beads conversation? Cram - No, do fill us in.
Rob Wooley - The bus leaves for Peel from the G spot. Rob - If it leaves from the G spot then Oxford willl never be able to find it.
Alex Stuart - It's not rape if he's already asked!
Paul Crooks - Prevent rape. Just say yes!
Cram (who was tickled mercilessly by Loughborough until he admitted he was a rubbish archer) - I was being raped. I would have done anything to stop the rapage.
Ian P - I recognise you. Do I know you? Ed R - You probably do. Ian P - Do you wear a hat? Ed R - Yes!
Alex - I am the sun around which Warwick revolves. Billy - Steve's a like a comet, he comes flying in from behind!
Cram (paraphrased, thanks to Izzy) - I've met him twice in the toilets. He's amazing!
Jam - Give me the cards, I want to play strip solitaire!
Steve - I'm on Tamlyn's face!
Jo - So Marc, how is it having Steve on your face? Marc - It's great. We have identical shafts.
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Post by Stubbs on Apr 10, 2009 9:39:07 GMT
The best group of arrows I had all deay was in my quiver.
I'm going to take a wild stab and say ... your Mamma!
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Post by Birm on Apr 13, 2009 22:29:08 GMT
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing"
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Post by Stubbs on Apr 14, 2009 0:44:36 GMT
Alex Hill at 01:11 on 14 April hehe, nor am i a pint sized twirp btw, twirp is "a person lacking intelligence or common sense That was worth putting up
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Post by Jade on Apr 14, 2009 11:04:15 GMT
Posted by andrewcb on Mar 19, 2009, 12:04am Jade: "This one comes with MP3 features" Didnt know when i sed that but o well:
me- "They arent moving coz they arent turned on"
Rob- "Im not shooting coz im tired and my breasts hurt"
Alex- "Thats a really good picture. Bet he didnt take it of himself" Me- "No, hes in it". Think it was referrin to jungle or stubbs, not sure...
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Post by igglybabe on Apr 18, 2009 21:02:35 GMT
we have got school children dressed as hookers and hookers dressed as school children. You dont know if they are carrying sweets of money!
Al Murray, Pub Landlord
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Post by igglybabe on May 4, 2009 20:40:33 GMT
Tom Cram is good at catching a snake
Jungle always wants more meat!
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Post by igglybabe on May 4, 2009 20:44:12 GMT
Thats what they are eating...MEAT...LOAF!
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Post by igglybabe on May 4, 2009 21:20:21 GMT
If its not yours don't get caught using it
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Post by igglybabe on May 4, 2009 21:23:28 GMT
Jungle: bookcases are supposed to be stacked 2 deep Jade: no there not they are supposed to be used for books
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Post by Stubbs on May 4, 2009 22:09:28 GMT
it's never bad weather, just the wrong choice in clothing.
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Post by igglybabe on May 23, 2009 14:11:45 GMT
A woman is helping her husband set up his laptop. It asks 4 a password. He puts 'penis' the wife falls off her chair laughing when it says 'password too short'
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Post by Stubbs on Jun 29, 2009 23:34:28 GMT
literalists do it with their genitals!
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Post by Stubbs on Oct 10, 2009 0:18:03 GMT
It's not the bullet with "Your name on it" that you have to worry about. It's the howitzer shell addressed "To whom it may concern".
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